The TVs turn on and you see the principal start to read the morning announcements:

Good morning, folks, and welcome back to Fairview High School. These morning announcements are brought to you by Murray's Tranding Cards, located on Lorain Road. Today is going to be a fun-filled day of fun, starting with only the first three periods, then a Finast Picnic, sponsored by Finast Supermarkets, Pepsi, and the Family Council Against the Fairview Cult, which is commonly refered to as the FCAFC.

Before you leave, I would like to remind you of our new rules this year. First, no one may wear any tee-shirts relating to cults. Second, no one may have in their possesion underground or independent student newspapers. Also, we adopted a new policy written by the FCAFC. No student is allowed to be in the Fairview Cult. Any student found to be in the cult must go through a five-day camp at an FCAFC farm, or serve a 10-day out of school suspension. Thank you and have a good day.


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