The Free Zine Online, from free money to free food to free merchandise

"The unltimate guide to getting free stuff everywhere; from at the movies to the store. Learn how to get everything free, from free money to free food to free merchandise."

Introduction
Free Hotels
Free Money
Dumpster Shopping
Free Gifts
Free Tapes
AOL For Life
Free Merchandise

Restaurant Information
Cheating Instant-win Caps
Free Room Board and SEX
Free Fast Food
Free Combo Meals
Free Bus Rides
Free Movies
Free Swimming

Ripping Off Vending Machines
Crashing Parties
We-Care Program
Ticket Stubs
Kinko's Copies
Blockbuster Movies
Kid's Clubs
Other
Interview With Author

Sell Free Tapes

Another way to get free tapes is to go to record stores and ask if they are giving away any demo tapes. A lot of the local record stores have a free-bin. Take the entire thing. You can then sell those tapes to Record Exchange for a few dollars. Free stuff that you sell for money. What else could you want???
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Free America Online

I always laugh at the suckers who pay for America Online. I am tempted to get rid of it -- even for free it sucks. But here is how to get it for free, and how I have been getting it free for the past year. Sign up for a free month. At the end of the month, call to cancel. They will GIVE you another month. At the end of that month, cancel again, and they will GIVE you another month!!! You only get three months though. So just make a new account! They have so many millions of users, then don't know it is your second, third, or forth account!
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Free Merchandise

Best Buy, K-Mart, CopmuUSA, Circuit City, Wal-Mart, Sun TV, Value Cit, Dillards, Kaufman's, J.C. Penny's, May Company, and more!

You can get free stuff from McDonald's and Burger King. "That's good and all," you think, "but that is only food. What about real stuff?" Good news, dear friend, you can get FREE GIFT CERTIFICATES and more from your favorite, or least favorite retail store. It doesn't take much: 32 cents for postage and a piece of paper and envelope. The return is definitely worth it. Here is just some of the free stuff I've got from the various places.
Best Buy -- 25$ GiftCertificate
K-Mart -- 10$ Cash Card
Wal-Mart -- 15$ Gift Certificate
CompUSA -- 10$ Store Credit
Value City -- 15$ Gift Certificate

And here is the magical letter we sent to each (slightly modified for each store).

July 5th, 1998 (Name Censured) (Address Censured) Dear Sir Or Madam: I was in your store to purchase a TI86 graphing calculator. The sales price sign said it was 10% off. When I went to the cvounter I was charged full price. I asked the lady about it and she said the calculator was not on sale. I told my friend who was also shopping to check if I was wrong. He came back saying that the sign was definitely for the TI86. The lady called upon a male employee. She talked to him closely, and they wre simling. HE went to see if the sign was correct. He came back saying there was not even a sale sign there. My friend went back and did not see the sale sign he just saw about thre minutes ago, and I discouragdly bought the calculator. Sincerely, Name Censured

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Restaurant Information

Chi-Chi's Free Nacho's
As everyone knows, you get free chips and salsa at Chi-Chi's. Thisn't that good of a deal, seeing that you pay a decent amout of money for the meal. The trick is, don't order anything! Or, if you don't want to get kicked out too quickly, order a pop. Then snack on basket after basket of chips.

Happy Birthday!
If you are going out to celebrate your birthday at a restaurant, usually they give you a free slice of cake or pie. They'll do this even if it isn't your birthday, but they think it is. Just simply say that you are celelbrating your birthday here and you will probably get something for free.

Mints To Go
A lot of restaurants have free mints, candy, crayons and stickers at the door. Walk in, grab a handful, walk out. The hostess usually laughs.

Free Fine-Dining Meals
To get your meal for free, get really, really angry when you find a hair in your meal. Most of the time, the server doesn't care, even if she knew you put your own hair in there. I did this at Red Lobster and it worked fine. Believe it or not, I did it in the school lunch line, too. Weird thing is, next week I found a real piece of hair in the food. Bugs work too, but that is a little more unrealistic and gross to hoax. Another way to get a complete family meal is call up and say that everyone in your family got sick from a meal there. They will do one of three things. Send you your money back, tell you to come in and get a free family meal, or send you gift certificates.

The Walk-Out
After eating, just simply walk out! I've done this at denny's counteless times. They never seem to remember, though.

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Cheating Instant-Win Caps

Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up, Lipton Ice Tea
Many times Pepsi or other beverage companies have instant-win cap games where you unscrew the cap and find it say "Free 20oz Pepsi" A friend of mine found out that you don't even need to open the pop to see if the cap is a winner. If you look through the neck at an angle, you can read what the cap says.
My friends and I did this all last summer, cleaning food marts and drug stores all out of the winning bottles. One time my friend took all of the winning caps to the counter. The cashier said the total would be twelve dollars and some change. My friend replied "Oh no; you see theses are all winners," as he opened them and added that he was a psychic. The cashier was in complete awe.
Another time, I was by myself at a Marathon gas station, looking under all of the pops. The fat lady working started breathing heavy and screamed from two feet away, "Stop Cheating! Get Out!!!" She scared the crap out of me. Nobody else ever cared when they saw me look; most even laugh.

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Free Room, Board, and Sex!

You're probably thinking "All of these for free, impossible! That is all you need in life!" Although it is easy to do, there are a few minor disadvantages. Here's what you do: go to any college campus, look for a cult, and join it.
Now here are the disadvantages. First, the food you get is very low in protein, making you susceptible to brainwashing. You alwso get only three hours of sleep, turning you into a brainless zombie. And finally, you have to do some work, promoting the cult and selling stuff for your master.

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Free Fast Food

Quick Fries Or Burger
If you're new to the lying thing and only want a quick burger of fries, this is what you do. Walk up to the counter at the place and say "Hi, I was here about an hour ago through the drive-thru and order a bunch of items. We found out that the fries we order were missing." Sometimes, they'll ask you for a receipt and won't give it to you because you don't have it. But most of the times you'll get it.
Condiments For Life
Although a bottle of catsup is only a few bucks, why spend money when you don't need to. Every time you go to a fast food restaurant to eat (free) food, grab handfuls of catsup, mustard, salt and pepper. Not only is it free, but if you are a calorie counter, you know exactly how much you are eating when you put a blob of catsup or mustard.
Napkins and Toilet Paper For Life
Theis works on the same theory as Condiments for Life... except you just take a couple hundred napkins when you leave. Also, if you want one of those huge rulls of toilet paper, bring a bookbag and a paper clip. Go into the stall pick the simple lock on the dispenser (if they even have one) and take it. Not high qulity paper, but it will do for TPing houses. Besided, beggars can't be choosers all of the time.
Water Into Pop
Most Burger Kings and KFC's have self serve soda machines. Ask for a glass of water at the counter and they'll either give you n empty cup or give you a cup filled with water. Empty the cup if it has water in it and help yourself. Paranoid about getting in trouble? Fill it with Sprite or 7-up.

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Free Combo Meals

This is probably the gutsiest way to rip-off fast food restaurants. For this, you have to tell a BIG lie. You must be able to go in, act very polite and, if necessary, get very angry if they don't give you what the "promised." The good thing is, even if they don't believe you 100%, chances are you'll get what you want. It has worked every time for me. Believe it or not, if you are a good enough lair, you can get two or three combo meals! All you need to do is go up to the counter and say to the cashier the following:
Hi, I called here a few days ago and spoke with a manager about a big problem I had with my order through drive-thru; I gave the manager my name and he told me to come up and ask for a value meal.

The underlined words are the most important to remember to make the story very fuzzy. Even though you didn't give anyone your name, they will still go back and peruse the "list" or log book. Though you aren't on it, they will say one of two things,"well, you aren't on the list, but I'll give it to you anyway" or "he must have forgot to write it down, sorry."
A lot of times, though, they will often question you and get their manager, who, chances are, will be older than you. This is the difficult part.
Who did speak to?
Hmmm... you know, I really can't remember the name. But he did say he took my name down. (They'll usually try to think for a few seconds, then know exactly who you're talking about)
When did you call?
It was a few days ago... Wednesday, maybe Thrusday.... (They think, "What a moron, can't even remember when he called" You think "What a moron, he believes me")
Now, what was wrong with your order?
I ordered my sandwich specifically with only catsup and when I got home, it had everything. (Think of an excuse before you go in, just incase)

One night, when I did this at Wendy's, a very strange thing happened. I told the cashier the story, and she remembered me! She went back to check the "list" and came back apologizing, saying "I'm so sorry; the fries were stale and the meat was a little undercooked. I'm sorry." Being polite, I told here that it was no problem. After I was handed the free meal, she told me again how sorry she was.

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Free Short Bus Rides

If you only have a short distance to go and don't feel like waliking, this is a great alternative. Now, this only works for pey-when-you-get-ON busses for no more than a mile. When you get on the bus, go to sit down. The driver will say "pay now," or something like that. Don't hear him at first and try to take as long as possible to understand what he said. Next, saunter up to the box and dig into one pocked taking as possible, then another, and another. Check your socks for money, tell the driver, politely, "sir, I lost my wallet and don't have any money." He'll most likely stop the bus right there and kick you off. Even if he does, you still saved yourself that much walking.

Sneaking Into Movies

All you have to do to see free movies is get past the ticket taker and not look suspicious. Ask if you can use the bathrooms, or, better, which way to the bathrooms. You can even ask where the lost and found is. Another way is to say that your wife or mothe r(age determining) had your ticket. Do this when it is busy: the ticket takers honestly don't care and don't keep track of sales and tickets they rip. If you look suspicious, though, they will keep an eye on you.
Go in before a movie starts, so the lobby is crowded. Once you go in the movie teater, go to the back and open the back door, where your friends should be waiting. Let all of them in. A friend of mine, who worked at the theater, said that he would only suspect kids by the way they looked. He said that he never questioned people who said their family was already inside, because they most likely were telling the truth.

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Free Swimming

When I was younger, I had a pool pass to Clauge Swimming Park. To get my friends in,. I would just give the pool pass to them through the fence where it would be reused.
One time my friend and I jumped over a fence by apartments and decided to swim in the pool for the residence. This old lady called the police on us. when the office arrived, he asked if we'd been drinking and took our names down. He realized that we were related to the owner of a restaurant and told us next time we work there to give him a free pop. We said sure and thought he was a nice cop. We hight have been better off swimming in a hotel swimming pool, which has worked countless times, instead of an old-folk's home pool.

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Ripping Off Vending Machines

In the cafeteria at school, we had a vending machine that sold Mystic. If I laid on the groud I could reach my arm up through the bottom, use my keys to open up the gate, and grab many Mystics. There was a "gate open" alar, but it was about as loud as my watch alarm
For other vending machines, simply use a coat hangar. Bend it so it will reach inside the machine. Poke the food and push it upwards, causing it to fall. This, however is much harder than it sounds.
For pop machines, or atleast for some pop machines, you can pour salt water down the coin slot. This messes up a lot of the electronics (probably damaging the machine) but also causes it to spit out change and give free pop. For most of the twenty ounce venders, you can stick your arm up and grab one of the bottles.

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Crashing Parties

A great way to have fun and food is crashing parties. Just drive around on a Friday or Saturday night looking for lots of cars, lights, people jumping around, loud music, etc.
One time we crashed a drinking party. The only thing was, the parents were home, so it turned out to be a non-drinking party. We ate a lot of pizza, chips, pop and then left.
Another time, we went to a family reunion. During the party, there was a karaokee machine. When we walked in, the bad apple of the family was singing Guns n Roses and Metallica. His technique and voice were very dull and boring. After he was done, my friend went on stage. He yelled "are you ready to rock!!!" He played the exact same Metallica song, but sang it with full emotion. While he was singing it, people were asking who he was. Halfway through the song, when they realized he was no one, they shut it off and told us to leave. The bad apple who butcherd the Metallica song threatened to beat my friend up who sant the song better than he did.

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The We-Care Program

In 1996, I created the We-Care program, which was a huge hook-up ring. I got all of my friends to go in on this. They told me the safest way that they could hok people up with stuff from their work or give good deals along with their names and a physical description. Then, I printed pocket-sized booklets that had all of this information and gave it to people along with We-Care cards (so, if anyone, especially police, asked, We-Care is a charity program). The dea with the card was you flashed it at some one listed in the book and if they recognized that you were from the program, they gave you deals/fre stuff.
I had new people join and the program expanded. i printed another booklet. The We-Care program was fun at first, but then it became more of a job. I let some one else take control of it and it fell apart from there. All in all, I got free toys, free food, free movies, and free groceries.

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Ticket Stubs

Most movie theaters have deals with local businesses where you can redeem the stubs for discounts and free stuff. Examples:

General cinema at Westwood/Westgame you can redeem ticket stubs for free Aladdin's Castle Tokens.

Regal Cinema of North Olmstead you can redeem the stubs for a free frosty at Wendy's on Lorain, across the street. Great thing to do on a Friday night was to pick stubs off the round or from the top of the garbage, walk across the street and get frosty after frosty.

Kino's Copies

Out of all of the places to go at 3:30am on a Sunday night, Kino's is by far the best. In fact, Kino's is a great place to go anytime of the day. This is my usual Kino's routine: Go into the store (at anytime); grab a free cup of hot chocolate; sit down and make a couple of free calls to my friends and ask what they are doing; call a parent, if necessary; finish my coffee and leave.
Besides getting free hot beverages and phone calls, you get free copies! This, however, is not as easy. There are two basic ways to do this: both are risky and can get you in trouble. The first involves taking two store cards, which are the pay-later coutner cards. make a few hundred copies on one, discard it. Make about ten copies on the other, turn it in and pay.
The second methood is somewhat newer. Buy and charge one dollar on a pre-paid copy card and take a store card (with out them knowing). Slip in the copy counter card instead of the charged card. Make copies, discard the store card, and leave.
The Kino's Copies in my area is great. I laugh at all hte people who spend money at the Arabic coffe shop a few stores down the plaza and then use the payphone right outside.

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Blockbuster Movies

In my area, Blockbuster has a special called Blockbuster Choice. Videos which are laveld this are guaranteed to be great. If yo udon't like it, you can return it and get a new movie for free. The thing to do is take the label and put it on any bvox and keep coming back.
Another thing to do, for two movies in a row, is to get a movie, watch it as soon as you get home, return it to Blockbuster and say that it was the wrong movie. They'll give you another one for free

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Kids Clubs

It might sound silly, but joining Kid's Clubs can be more fun than you'd think. You get cool booklets and stickers that they send which are fun to read. most importantly though, you get free stuff on your birthday. Send your Name, Address, City, State Zip, and Birthday to Kids Clubs. Make sure to send it for your 20 brothers and siters. Or, what I usually do is sign up my 20 "children" Here are a few clubs to join:

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Misc. Free Stuff

Colleges often get shipments from companies of free boxes with samples in them, ranging from deodorant to candy. At Baldwin Wallace college, they had a huge case of these boxes, which had Arid XX deodorant, some shampoo, and candy. I took the entire crate of 122. I still use the smaple Arid XX deodorant today.
Next time you are on an airplane, ask for a deck of cards. Also, you can get lots of free peanuts. in the next edition, I will explain how to get free plane rides, usually from free frequent flier miles and how to sit in first class instead of coach.
Libraries are a great source of free stuff. There about 7 different libraries in my area. all but one I have over one hundred dollars in fines. They willn ever ask fro them, I'm just not allowed to check any material out until I reduce the fine to undre 10 dollars.

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Interview With Author

By Best Magazine Awards

Do you have any money?: I will ... how much are you paying me for this interview again?
A few bucks, but, do you ever pay for anything, anyway?: Ummm ... nope, never
Why the obsession with free stuff?: Why pay for something you can get for free
What is your typical day like?: Well, first I wake up and shower, using free sopa and shamppo taken from hotel rooms I was "looking over" to see if I wanted to spend the night. Then, I brush my teeth with free-sample toothpase and a free toothbrush I took from a dentist's office that I walked into, in the search for free stuff. For breakfast, I have cereal sent as "a gift for our valued customer." Next, I go to work, which is actually going around getting free necessities and money. For lunch, I'll have a free meal at a fast food place. then back to work. After work, I have a free dinner at a restaurant and enjoy an evening at the movie thearter or renting a free movie from Blockbuster.
What is your favorite newspaper?: Cleveland Free Times
Favorite Number?: Three
Household Appliance?: Freezer
Evil Secret Society?: Freemasons
Type of Fighting?: Free-for-all
Kind of Bees?: Freebees
Time of the day?: Free time
Favorite country: United States
Huh?: Freedom!
Oh...Cake?: Fat-Free lemon
Movie?: Free willy
Grocery shopping days?: Friday and Saturday, Free sample
Anything you would like to leave with the readers?: Please do NOT do any of the stuff in this zine. If they catch on and everyone starts doing this, then I will have to start paying for stuff, which Iaven't done for over five years. Oh yeah, and look out for my next zine, claled the Free Zine:Second edition. There will be a lot more free stuff, including free gas and more free money.

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An Introduction

Free Hotel Stay

Thousands Of Dollars Free!!!

Dumpster Shopping

Gifts From Credit Card Companies

Tons Of Free Tapes!

Sell Free Tapes

Free America Online

Free Merchandise

Restaurant Information

Cheating Instant-Win Caps

Free Room, Board, and Sex!

Free Fast Food

Free Combo Meals

Free Short Bus Rides

Sneaking Into Movies

Free Swimming

Ripping Off Vending Machines

Crashing Parties

The We-Care Program

Ticket Stubs

Kino's Copies

Blockbuster Movies

Kids Clubs

Misc. Free Stuff

Interview With Author